...sail on.

blog = love

2009-11-06T00:01:00.001+08:00

It's been four (4) years already. How time flies. Sailing On records a part of my life, a very part of my own self. It's become my online journal and refuge to my feelings and thoughts I wanted to blurt out.

323 posts and counting. I look forward to so much more.

So much has happened and I have only to re-read what I have lovingly or angrily shared. Memories will remain because I have kept them here. Many times, I have contemplated on deleting this blog but I was resolved with the fact that I can't just let go of a journal I call my own. So from then on, I continue to blog everytime I'm in the mood to.

And you know what's funny and weird? Some of what I'm posting here, not all the members of my family, cousins and friends have any idea of. Funnier? I get inspired at any time and ends up tweaking the codes thus finding endlessly for new templates to drool over and widgets that caught my fancy. Funniest, I enjoy browsing through old posts and then finds out how uninteresting some of my posts were.

But nonetheless, it's OK because it's my blog anyway. And I'm The Commodore. Here's the thing though, I do have a heart to connect and listen to you. Yes, you. The nice people I've met through this blog. I learn a lot and it's really nice to read the stories of your life too. I will continue to document my life's travels, the fun and hurdles along the way. :)

Happy birthday ...sail on.

wedge + clothes + bags

2009-11-02T10:35:00.006+08:00

I'm feeling excited about wearing our new uniforms at work. Hopefully we'd start by December as the seamstress still had to meet the set date. Such is exciting because it'll be my first time since my previous jobs didn't require one. Secondly, it's a bit expensive for someone like me to buy corporate outfits every now and then.

And so, I really look forward to it and is actually aiming to buy new black wedge shoes. I specifically want a wedge one, nothing else! Plus, accessories and stockings- we'll be issued ternos of blouses and 4 pcs of skirts and only one pants. I'm not used to wearing stockings but I'd consider since I am quite not comfortable with my legs and it's very cold inside the office.

I'm now browsing for shoe samples in the net hoping I'd spot a good pair and will just look for similar ones at par with my budget. I want sana to buy a bag kaya lang, I'm setting it aside muna. I ought to stick to essentials first. I have a usable bag pa naman. And I still have to think about my budget for Christmas.

And, I found these shoes and bags na rin [para for future inspiration, :) ] --

I love yellow shades talaga. I can't wear yellow shoes though during weekdays because we're required to wear black shoes. But my corporate clothes do have shades of yellow and so are my accesories. I'm pairing them with turquoise and light green too. I ought to have colorful aura than a dull one. Can't wait for December!

blessing in disguise

2009-10-31T10:16:00.004+08:00

I was awakened by the strong winds at around 4am. I knew typhoon Santi will hit Batangas and last night PAG-ASA forecasted a Signal #3 among the provinces in Southern Tagalog region. 2 hours later, when I turned on my cp, I was welcomed with numerous text messages from employees asking if there's a no-work declaration from the management. I never had to verify though because minutes later, our department manager texted me that it's a non-working day because of Typhoon Santi. I called the security chief then to ask how they were and requested that they disseminate the information to those who'll call.

But a little past 9am, I can see clouds already and a little sunshine. Good thing, Santi never had to stay longer and bring damage to us. Non-operations is a loss in terms of business for us but God has a way to make us prepare in remembering our loved ones who already passed away.

Happy halloween everyone! :)

'May your future be lit by the knowledge of the past.'

2009-10-25T08:26:00.005+08:00

Recently, I attended among other 2 from our company and from the other dealerships, the Toyota Way seminar at GT Tower, Makati City. And as a newly hired Team Member [as we call each other], it was such a very welcomed experience. I certainly felt that I belong and privileged at that.

What inspired me the most was the 25 min. video of Toyota's history. History full of challenges, the rise and fall and finally the success of the family businesses and how persevering they were in conquering the world market initially the United States of America.

Once again, I was awed at how the Japanese brought jobs for people. In 1988, Toyota have started business in the Philippines and since then gives job opportunities to Filipinos and provides budget-wise but high standard cars. In 1997, the car dealership started in Batangas, the Toyota of the South. And as one of the team members all over the world, I shall live the Toyota Way by heart.

Thanks to the man who started the dream and the son who fulfilled it, Toyota is now the #1 car manufacturing industry in the world.

downtimes

2009-10-20T21:03:00.006+08:00

Whenever I feel discouraged and low, I think of the others whose plight is worser than mine. By then, it becomes bearable and I get to survive the day.

And I'm lead away from being pathetic.

pink-ish

2009-10-18T12:28:00.001+08:00

My amaryllis in bloom.

movies I so look forward to watch hopefully and the simple reasons why

2009-10-12T20:48:00.004+08:00

500 Days of Summer. I simply love Zooey's wardrobe in the movie. Can't wait to see all.
Love Happens. Christmas themed romantic movies are A-OK for me. While You Were Sleeping is a favorite.
The Twilight Saga-New Moon. Though I don't intend to buy any of the books, I ought to complete watching the saga.

I certainly hope that local cinemas would show the movies above. Local cinemas are actually quite poor in selections. Sometimes, in my own honest opinion. I haven't checked on the screenings yet for the week but intend to do so sooner. Gawd, I so need a break!

celebrating birthdays together

2009-10-09T19:46:00.005+08:00

My youngest sister A celebrated her birthday in Singapore for the first time last week. Our sister M made possible her celebration a day after her actual birthday. She had a blast and by the looks of it, she's very, very happy. Another year with lots of surprises.

And today, it's my younger sis M's birthday and she'd celebrate it with A, her bf and friends tomorrow. Can't wait to see the picture of fun and happiness. M has done so much for the family and for that I'm forever thankful. I know I have yet to repay her someday though she's not expecting anything.

I'm really so grateful that they're doing great and enjoying Singapore very much. I'd wish I'd share the happiness too physically but knowing they're good means more to me. I always hope and pray that they'll always be healthy and safe. It matters more than I could have wished for to be with them.

To my younger sisters, I love you! You may not know and feel how much, but I'm so blessed, proud and grateful I have both of you. Happy birthday! :)

love coach?

2009-10-03T19:53:00.003+08:00

A guy friend has been calling me almost everyday to seek for advice or to just have someone to listen to his love woes. And as much as I am willing to, there were times that I decline because calls are being done during work hours.

I've been the one to listen to his every worries and uncertainties. Perhaps, it's been deafening already but I simply cannot defy the fact that I'm the one person he trusts. But don't get me wrong, it's deafening in a sense that I can no longer make myself be objective everytime he started telling me the scenarios. He, being taken for granted by his girlfriend, the gf's uncaring ways, unthoughtfulness to name a few. But all these I can't validate because I am not hearing the other side.

All I'd do during our phone conversations was to listen first and then give my views on the circumstances he cited. And this with the hope that he'll be able to gather up the strength within him and just let his worries and negative thoughts at bay.

After all I've been through in the love aspect of my life, I learned to live by with my mantra- come what may. But that's never holding back with the love I feel and think negatively of the relationship. I always thought that if you're meant for each other, it doesn't necessarily follow that you don't work for the relationship together. And I believe that it's not healthy to make something little a big deal. Relationships should make a person happy and grow. Saying that your partner's happiness is more important than yours is something I used to believe in.

I'm not a love coach, I'm farrr from being one. I believe in every person's way of loving. It's just that it's good to go to someone else outside of that relationship to see things objectively. Aside from discussing it with your partner, that's very, very important. As I always tell my guy friend who's in a love dilemma, in love, there'll always be dark clouds and tunnels but at every end, true love will help them get pass through.

they're counting on us

2009-10-01T20:24:00.001+08:00

It's overwhelming to see the bayanihan spirit of the Filipinos. The last time I've had info of, the donations for the Typhoon Ondoy victims are nearing 100 million pesos. They are outpouring, may it be cash or in kind. Volunteers are aplenty too.

At our end, as we are aware that cities in Greater Manila Area were greatly affected, our company's initiative to help directed towards a town in western part of Batangas. The people who were also affected [the water rose neck-deep although subsided until it's knee-deep] needed much help too. Our relief goods and cash donations from employees were specifically for them. We decided to extend our help to the people near but it doesn't mean we'd forget the others. It's only a matter of not neglecting those who haven't had the chance to be given attention to by media and national government agencies.

Continuous help is needed. You may visit Bianca Gonzales' blog for information on how you can still help.

please go away now, Ondoy

2009-09-26T17:00:00.000+08:00

Typhoon Ondoy made us go home early from work. And it brought Greater Manila Area floods. As my parents and I are safely stucked at home, I've been watching footages and news of the floodied areas in Manila. It's so saddening.

The thought of families whose homes where flooded and carried away, that others where forced to stay at their rooftops for safety are heartrending. Not to mention the stranded people in the floodied streets.

I pray safety for all and hope to heavens that Typhoon Ondoy will go away as soon as possible. Let's all utter a prayer for the people in the areas being affected by Ondoy. That's the least we could do, and we should thank the Lord that we are safely home.

gowns at the 61st Emmy Awards

2009-09-21T20:57:00.000+08:00

Have you watched the LIVE telecast of the 61st Emmy this morning? It has it's re-run at Studio 23 as I'm typing this.

I became interested in the gowns [dunno really what prompted me to] and these are my choices-

Love the simplicity yet interesting details and especially since Drew Barrymore is wearing it.

I so love the color yellow nowadays, and seeing one like this is inspiring. And oh, I love Jennifer's curly hair.

source

home-y

2009-09-17T20:06:00.000+08:00

I'm a homebody. I can stay at home the whole day and still have a good one. And despite what happened last week, I have reasons why I love just being here-

reading books inside my room
internet connection
doing DVD marathon
playing the piano
Brownie's barking
my mother's garden
listening to my fave CDs
staying in bed
pandesal or champorado for breakfast
the comfort, the security
being with my parents

I've experienced being far from home, and it's not easy. And I realized some things happen for a reason. The incident made me appreciate more the value of having a home and most importantly, my parents who I should be grateful for more than anything else in the world.

the deep

2009-09-12T20:16:00.003+08:00

I just realized how I miss the sea and the serenity it brings to me.

I miss the time when I was able to connect and hear the sound waves.

I miss being in solitude. One with nature.

the prodigal daughter

2009-09-06T11:00:00.002+08:00

I nearly broke down when I saw my 9 year-old niece carrying a pillow and handed it to me. She was also keen on putting the timer of the fan for me to feel comfortable but I said it's not necessary. I was at their house to sleep for the night. And decided to sleep in the couch.

Because I'm not going home.

Three nights ago I cried myself to sleep because of an emotional outburst-hearing my parents talk about me in a not so good way. The next morning, I had a confrontation with my father about something I am not in a way directly concerned but the blame nonetheless was thrown at me. Such incident prompted me to decide hastily and texted my younger sis [while trying hard not to cry because I was at that time in a public place] that I'm leaving home. I was at that point ready considering that my limit was already tested. My focus was to leave the soonest I can. I'm so hurt that leaving is the only way to deal with it. I'm afraid that if I didn't, it'll make me hate them.

So, for two nights, I slept at my cousin's house and went back to ours early the following morning to bathe and dress up and go to work. Just so to avoid my parents. My mother is an early Mass goer every single day while my father is still asleep at such early hour. For the past 2 days, my sisters in Singapore called me from time to time to ask how I'm doing and convinced me not to leave. And my aunts would talk me over. But I was relentless.

Early this morning, I bid my niece goodbye and left for home to finalize what I had in mind. We slept together last night and she made sure that I have my pillows and blanket. She asked me if I'll be sleeping again there tonight and I said yes because I was about to pack this morning and leave for good.

When I came home, my father was seated on his rocking chair. I ignored him and went straight to my room and he followed me there to talk while I'm arranging my things. I didn't budge nor uttered a word. When I can't contain myself anymore, I shouted that I don't want to stay. The next thing I knew, he broke down and cry and asked for my forgiveness. He explained why he was inconsiderate and harsh at that time. And I was crying now too. All the words came out, my "sama ng loob" all came out and all the while he's crying while explaining things to me. And told me how much he loves me and how much he cared. By then, I broke down too. I realized how painful my actions were for him especially the fact that I decided to leave the house and them too.

I was so hurt not because of what happened days ago but because I was seeing my father that way. I felt so small as a person and as a daughter that I was able to do such to him. And I regret all the things that I did that hurt them. I asked forgiveness too most of all for that. And because I was also inconsiderate of their feelings.

I know I can't erase what happened this morning and my room will always remind me of that. But all ends well because of the love we have for each other. A love for our family. What matters most is that I'm back here with them. It's now in the past and I know I should make it up to them.

But first, I should deal with my guilt and forgive myself for making such a mistake. To help me let go and move on. Most importantly, know by heart that I should learn my lesson.

down & up

2009-08-18T18:21:00.010+08:00

I've been out of internet connection at home for several weeks now so I'm using the aid of internet shops. The crowd sucks but my internet provider is the worst. It's been no chatting sessions with my sisters, cousins and friends abroad. But I had to content myself with this arrangement- blogging, blog-hopping and checking of emails.

Meanwhile, I had fun watching The Proposal with my childhood friends. It was, I believe the most hilarious and feel-good movie for me so far. I laughed out loud and cried unmindful of the would-be stares. It's worth the wait. Cinemas here was only able to open it up for show a week after it was released in Manila. It's delayed really but it's OK, the most important thing was that we're able to watch it.

On to more happy moments, I saw pictures of my sisters' trip together. And may I say I'm very happy for my youngest sister because it's the first time she was able to explore Singapore a bit since she worked there. There has been night outs but day trips are better and fun too. I must admit, I was kinda envious but what the heck, I know it's their bonding time and though I wasn't there, I enjoyed watching their togetherness.

I'm feeling the happy vibes here, I hope you are too at your end. :)

my cousin's wedding

2009-08-12T19:16:00.005+08:00

I've been very busy helping my cousin prepare for her wedding. And I might say that it's been tiring even at the day itself. I was tasked, or I can say that I offered to be the unofficial photographer. Aside from the fact that I also was a reader during the Mass. Believe it or not I used 2 digital cameras so you could imagine how my fingers ached after. But I did not complain, of course. It's a loving deed and I'll do it all over again if I have to. :)

Here are some of my shots-

And this is me, thank God for friends, I have pictures taken during my Gospel reading.

It's nice to have unofficial photographer [close friends or family members] during events because you have your digital copies right away. Because official photographers do have copyrights of all the pictures and you only have the album with you.

So editing pictures of about 300+ and cutting it to only about 200+ was worth it. :)

words that inspire me..

2009-08-05T07:11:00.002+08:00

by the mother of Philippine democracy, President Corazon C. Aquino-

'In the light of recent events, now is one good time to share some of my deepest and strongest convictions.

First, I believe in the truth.
Second, I believe in democracy.
I believe that in any democracy a public office is a public trust, and none more so than the presidency.'

-source

'As President, I have never prayed for anything for myself; only for our people. I have been called an international beggar by the military rebels. Begging does not become me, yet—perhaps—it is what I had to do. I could have kept my pride and held aloof, but that would not have helped our people. And it is for them that I was placed in this office.'

-source

'As I came to power peacefully, so shall I keep it. That is my contract with my people and my commitment to God. He had willed that the blood drawn with a lash shall not in my country be paid by blood drawn byh the sword but by the tearful joy of reconciliation. We have swept away absolute power by a limited revolution that respected the life and freedom of every Filipino.'

-source

Salamat, President Cory! Paalam!

it is time

2009-07-27T19:53:00.002+08:00

Have you ever tried to let go of something that is so disappointing already but held back because you're afraid that you'd end up regreting it? Just because there's that tiny hope that everything will be worthwhile again?

I did.

And everything else made sense except for holding on. I realized I didn't have to push that something anymore because it'd mean that I'd be pushing my strength too much. And it's not good. I wouldn't want to be barren in the end.

I will loose my grip and let it go just like a balloon, thinking that I'll always look up to a blue and clear sky.

Because now is the time.

...lovely as a tree.

2009-07-20T20:36:00.010+08:00

Since I started working in another company, I realized I haven't had enough time to really unwind. So I thought of inviting my barkada to spend a Sunday in Lipa. I have attending Mass at the Shrine of our Mary Mother Mediatrix in mind [hadn't been attending Mass there for so long already], breakfast at McDo, go to the garden cum food shop I'd like to show them and stroll the street of P. Torres.

We were able to accomplish the first two but not the last two. Instead of the garden and strolling, I thought of going to Fernando Airbase. The last time I was there was in 2006, on my birthday. And it's good to be back. Very good that I had to ask for permission from the officer-on-duty if we can explore the place. he he We were instructed to just limit ourselves on a certain area but it's OK. We had a photo session [something like that] amongst the trees-inspired by the poem. :p

'Poems are made by fools like me,
But only God can make a tree.'

We had a point-and-shoot camera with us so I had the chance to kinda experiment a bit. The downside though was that my exposure was limited because I'd prefer to take the shots myself. Hee! We had fun and it didn't matter if there were people looking at us [there's a wedding Mass about to start then]. The important thing was that we're making the most of the time we're spending there and of course, the enjoyment.

And we have the pictures to remind us of that. Syempre. :) These were for me relaxing enough to somehow forget the work stress, pending tasks and unpredictable work force.

I can't face the book anymore...

2009-07-19T17:33:00.002+08:00

I'm out of FB. My online friends would notice that I've deactivated my account. Nothing personal, it's just that I really can't maintain it and to be honest, I can't seem to wind up with it. I've started it when Pat invited me and since he's not updating his blog anymore, I registered to keep up and be updated.

But early on, though it's been fun, the coming weeks seem to be a slow pace when it comes to updating. I've been lazy to log in until I wasn't able to visit it anymore.

I apologize for the 20 friend requests I had to ignore and the [online] friends I wasn't able to say goodbye to [at least from leaving FB]. But I know you'd understand. And I think it's not of a big deal. :p

I will have to keep in touch with Pat thru email and the others through our blogs. So long FB. And thank you! You're not just for me.

loving the rain

2009-07-12T19:54:00.005+08:00

I've been waiting for this rainy season to start. In fact, had I not been too tired, I would've bathe in the heavy rains last week. It was way too tempting but I was afraid it'll do me no good. I had to let it pass. So, I just enjoy hearing the raindrops while at home and looking outside through the glass window when I'm at the office. I have the luxury to enjoy the view, the vehicles that pass by and the vast greenfields opposite our building.

Add to that, rainy days bring me feel-good cold nights, the comfy feeling of my jammies and the need to snuggle my pillows. I love the rain. Many don't. Some associate the rain with loneliness, but I don't. It's for me a companion, a comfort and a music.

I remember the time when I freely cried while letting the rain fall all over me. That liberating feeling brought me relief knowing I can cry and no one will notice.

I thank God for rain. And wished that one rainy day I'm on top of the mountain just to be with myself sans the harsh reality of life.

a picture from TheColor.Com

2009-07-10T20:50:00.003+08:00

I am much enjoying coloring books after a week of hiatus. But just imagine my delight when I chanced upon a site which offers coloring online. I was happy! I can't wait to share this with my niece and nephew. I'm sure they'll enjoy it too! Here's my first colored picture- "Sunset"

Nice ba? :)

briefly

2009-07-05T19:43:00.009+08:00

My younger sis came home for a one week vacation last June 26. It was so short I believe because we're all too busy to bond. The only time we got to enjoy each other's company was when she treated our niece and nephew at the mall. But that was short too because she did not go with us to watch Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. That's because she decided to shop alone while we watch to maximize the time so that we can go home early.

But nevertheless, it's good enough for me. Better than nothing, right? :)

[1] me and my younger sis Maybel

[2] our niece Vinces

[3] our nephew Jakob

[4] at a shoe store when the kids felt bad after we told them we're not going to watch T2 [it's a joke, of course]

She left July 3. Ah, I'm not at goodbyes, really. And I knew our parents and I miss her already.

sweetsop

2009-07-03T20:52:00.004+08:00

I've been into junk foods lately. And upon checking the list of food intake at work [our food purchases at the cafeteria can be salary deducted hence the list], there are many unhealthy foods m-ostly chichirya. I'm kinda disappointed with myself. Apart from eating a big amount of meat [had no choice bec that's what being served], I also tend to drink soda. Hay.

Good thing though, I do have fruits to compensate the unhealthy habit. Our atis tree in the backyard now bears a bunch and the santol tree too [not ours but our relatives']. I had atis for dessert at dinner and I finished eating two. It's so sweet that I forgot to anticipate for the rambutan tree [at our backyard too] to finally satisfy us. But that's another story.

I'd enjoy savoring the sweetness of the atis [sweetsop or sugar apple] for now and think of how I can avoid eating unhealthy foods.

Atis, anyone? :p